Skip to main content
  • Advertise
    Want to Advertise with Us?
    Conquer welcomes advertising and sponsorship collaborations with reputable companies offering high-quality products and services to people affected by cancer.
  • Affiliated Brands
    Academy of Oncology Nurse & Patient Navigators
    The Academy of Oncology Nurse & Patient Navigators (AONN+) is the largest national specialty organization dedicated to improving patient care and quality of life by defining, enhancing, and promoting the role of oncology nurse and patient navigators. Our organization of over 8,900 members was founded in May 2009 to provide a network for all professionals involved and interested in patient navigation and survivorship care services to better manage the complexities of the cancer care treatment continuum for their patients. We view our organization as one consisting of “professional patient advocates” and, to that end, we support and serve our members.
    Journal of Oncology Navigation & Survivorship
    The Journal of Oncology Navigation & Survivorship (JONS) promotes reliance on evidence-based practices in navigating patients with cancer and their caregivers through diagnosis, treatment, and survivorship. JONS also seeks to strengthen the role of nurse and patient navigators in cancer care by serving as a platform for these professionals to disseminate original research findings, exchange best practices, and find support for their growing community.
    The Oncology Nurse-APN/PA
    The Oncology Nurse-APN/PA (TON) provides coverage of the wide spectrum of oncology-related events, trends, news, therapeutics, diagnostics, organizations, and legislation that directly affect hematology/oncology nurses and advanced practitioners involved in healthcare delivery and product utilization. The scope and coverage include a unique presentation of news and events that are shaping the care of patients with cancer.
  • Healthcare Providers
  • Contribute

Coping with Cancer as a Nonbeliever

April 2017 Vol 3 No 2
Erica Frazier Stum
Indianapolis, IN

I am a nonbeliever who happens to have cancer. Does that mean I deserve to have cancer? No. Does that mean I am not able to cope appropriately with my cancer? No. Religion can be a touchy subject. Cancer, and in my case cervical cancer, is another sensitive issue. So, it may not be comfortable to discuss, but both topics are pieces of my personal story.

I identify myself as a non-believer. This doesn’t mean I am uneducated in religion—quite the opposite. I grew up in the church. However, if I am forced to “classify” myself, I would consider myself agnostic.

A research study published in the Journal of Research in Medical Sciences shows a significant correlation between religiosity and spirituality, and the quality of life in patients with life-threatening diseases.1 This study may lead people to think that as a nonbeliever who has cancer, I am at a disadvantage compared with individuals of faith. I have never, however, felt at a disadvantage. In fact, if you ask my family and friends, I am an upbeat, positive, and inspired person.

I never contemplated how my lack of religion affected my cancer battle, until I was directly asked how I coped with all the challenges of cancer without the aid of religion and faith. It never crossed my mind that I should need to turn to a higher power to help me.

Facing Cervical Cancer Without Religion

I was first diagnosed with early-stage cervical cancer in October 2012. I faced the thought of becoming infertile, and I never considered turning to God.

With the exception of a few months, I have been in active treatment for recurrent metastatic cervical cancer since April 2014, when I was diagnosed with my first recurrence.

I have heard the 5 words “I will pray for you” countless times. You may wonder how that feels as a nonbeliever. To be honest, I mentally translate those words into something easier to comprehend, such as, “I will be thinking of you.” This is a phrase I use when someone is ill or has suffered a loss. I am not offended if an individual of faith prays for me.

I have personally had people lay hands and pray on me, and I have received prayer quilts. Who am I to deprive people of something that helps them cope with my cancer diagnosis? I know that my cancer is not all about me; obviously it affects my family, my friends, and others as well.

Living my life as a nonbeliever, I have found that it can be very difficult for my devout family and friends to understand my choice. I have heard things such as, “I wish you were a Christian, so God could help you with your cancer,” and “My pastor would love to baptize you, so you can accept God’s grace.”

In response to such wishes, I always say “thank you for thinking of me.” However, those statements can also take a mental toll. It is difficult to accept that some devout individuals believe that if I would only accept Christ into my life, I would magically be better able to cope with cancer.

Cancer Doesn’t Discriminate

The first time someone told me they wished I was a Christian so that God could help me with my cancer, I was taken aback. I was angry and hurt, and all I could think was, “What, do Christians not get cancer?”

It took me some time to rationalize what this person meant. Of course, I know that individuals of all beliefs get cancer. Cancer does not discriminate.

I try to be open to others’ belief systems, and I hope that others will be open to mine. I find, more often than not, individuals are accepting when they hear that I am not religious. However, it can be very hurtful when the person does not accept me the way I am.

Facing Cancer My Way

I don’t think that I have a difficult time coping with my cancer. I pour my heart into my family, work, and advocacy, to make a difference in the effort to eradicate cervical cancer. I talk about cancer openly with my medical team, family, and friends, and I also share my story publicly.

I write a blog, www.tealelfs.com, about living with cancer; I volunteer with the cervical cancer advocacy organization Cervivor (www.cervivor.org); and I do as much community outreach as possible to spread awareness.

I also deal with my cancer diagnosis by making an effort to live life to its fullest potential. I make it a priority to do things that make me happy, such as spending time with my son and husband. I challenge myself to step outside of my comfort zone. I do many things to cope with my cancer, but I won’t be bowing my head in prayer tonight.

Reference

  1. Atef-vahid MK, et al. Quality of life, religious attitude and cancer coping in a sample of Iranian patients with cancer. Journal of Research in Medical Sciences. 2011;16(7):928-937.

Recommended For You