So I AM surviving a
life as yet...
Still people and places
A life so brief no matter the years
Moments so rich no matter the tears
All that I have lost
All that they have lost
All that you have lost
Lovers they have never had
Lives that they will never have
Children we have never known
And those we knew had
Those days not yet completed
So many feelings to be depleted
There will be. There SHALL be,
I plead for all…to SET ME FREE
From these days not completed
Capabilities, sensibilities, possibilities
Again potential not depleted
It lies dormant, and unreachable
These are truths not quite teachable
These opportunities all but missed
Lovers, family, and friends unkissed
Fertile grounds untilled
More places unseen remain not woken
Those names unknown and unspoken
So many days of pain unbroken
A call comes, tests show there’s more disease
Could they be mistaken?
Could they PLEASE?
Do I fall upon these truths I don’t want?
Or stay cool, stay informed, be nonchalant?
I’m told some treatment is to begin
I’ll call someone else, perhaps a friend
Someone who cares with some time to lend
Someone out there with an ear to bend
What should I do?
Where should I go?
Is it THAT wrong not wanting to know?
Maybe just a way to soften the blow
Others live their lives as if on the mend
But oh not ME, I can’t pretend
Insecurity and mistrust to the very end
Just breathe in slowly…and carefully begin
Unknown roads and paths that are taken
Some guided by others not THAT mistaken
Some decisions are made when all
Should I go left? Should I go right?
Some journeys are made with
blind faith of this kind
Others with intuition and not without fear
Some places are reached with voices near
Take the risk, use the knowledge…YOU steer
Our media says be beautiful, stay young,
stay well, in THOSE voices
Pitching a life with such irony, with such
clear seductive choices
Take this pill, stay well…take this pill, stay young
The same old tunes and jingles continue to be sung
I’ve watched my body as it’s changed
With some parts taken, others rearranged
Can I accept my imperfection?
Should I withdraw, avoid detection?
Oh I’m sick, No I’m well…
Is it so clear to others that THEY can tell?
Am I falling apart, dear me…Oh HELL
All that I have gained
All that they have gained
All that you have gained
All that has remained
Blessings still unnamed
Journeys still uncharted
Can finally now be started
All that we have waited for
With greatest hopes and nothing more
Yet in the end…in the end, yes in the end
I feel my way through it all. I really CAN defend
Against this unwelcome guest I didn’t let in
Which of us didn’t want to know
Which of us couldn’t begin to show
Seems one more stage of this life though
A test of the will to live…go slow!